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1. Yep, I’ll text you when I get home off the train, no bother

I’ll forget and you’ll ring in a flap

2. I was JUST about to ring you

I forgot and you rang in a flap

3. I will of course head to Aldi for that portable heater/clothes airer you think I should have

Haven’t a notion

4. It was a good night yeah but I went home around midnight

I was out til ridiculous o’clock and I am a ball of shame

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5. No I never see Brian from Across The Road up here

I do see him but I’ve pretended not to every time

6. Yeah I was out with the girls last night, just a few wines

The truth: I had spirits. Lots of spirits. But I know your stance on spirits

7. Yes, I remembered to send Granny a card

SHITE

8. What am I having for dinner? Ammm… pasta

I probably won’t have dinner, let’s be fair

Gifsec Gifsec

9. We’re heading off tomorrow at 4am. The travel insurance is sorted yep

*Googles ‘cheap travel insurance’ approximately three seconds after hanging up the phone*

10. I’ve a banging headache, I might skip the visit to Auntie Maureen’s

I do not want to move from this couch and you can’t make me

11. I absolutely will make an appointment to get my teeth cleaned

My teeth are grand. Leave my teeth alone

12. No, I’m not seeing anyone. No one at all

Do you really want to hear about my awful Tinder dates? DO YOU?
https://vine.co/v/eIegupteHvd

13. I got a taxi from outside the pub to my door and my pals were with me and everything was fine

I walked a bit to the taxi rank and I was on my own but I am a grown person for god’s sake

14. Well obviously we didn’t sleep in the same room

Lololololol

15. Yep I took the chicken out of the freezer

SHITE

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